Yes I am talking to you Dr. So and So, Teacher So and So and Mrs. So and So at the store and Coach So and So. I am directing this at all of you because it is a conversation I have over and over with my friends, my family and many of the people above.
I know in most of these occupations it is about numbers, dollars, data, performance and what some report says at the end of your week/month and year. I agree those things are important. But I beg you to see beyond that. Those fixed things above don’t tell the whole story. They are actually probably the least important factor when you look at the whole.
The whole of what you ask right? Well behind those numbers are my children. I am their mother. To minimize them onto a piece of paper, the bottom line, proof of your performance is mind boggling and quite frankly…RUDE. When you talk to me about these fixed things above remember that I am a human being and a mother. I carry with it those instinctual feelings of motherhood. Meaning if provoked I could kick your ass in a second and being your best friend in the next if it meant protecting, nurturing or caring for my child.
It might be that your job is dull and the importance of those fixed things above prove you did your job well. I respect that. I have to provide numbers too at my daily job. I know it is hard to remember that it isn’t just another grade, number, data report, medical test because that is what you do all day long. But when I walk into your office or am on the other end of that email or phone call please see me as more than the fixed things above. Those reports, numbers and data have names and faces and they are the first ones I think of in the morning and the last ones I think of at night.
My #1 is the special girl who made me a mother who sometimes has excessive absences (trust me she would rather be at school) and sometimes likes to spruce a story up. What can I say she got her Mom’s creative mind? Her absences aren’t because she hates school or has some hidden deep meaning at home that makes her skip. Instead, she is probably in your office again needing another antibiotic because she has nasty allergies that cause her all sorts of problems. I know she tends to make you look good on paper but I beg you now to know she is so much more than that. She loves science, math and writing. She is very athletic and friendly. She wears her heart on her sleeves though and often ends up broken hearted because she is sometimes too nice.
My # 2 is more than some label some doctor has labeled her with so her rights are protected in your world. She came into this world feisty and gets feistier by the second. She embodies that old saying, “Good things come in small package.” She is unique and frustrating, lovable and infuriating. But man she does love with her whole self. When you talk about kids like her realize that I am the mother to her and that to me she is perfect. She is just trying to make this world work for her and she doesn’t go about it like you and I. However, she is trying so hard for that to be okay. It isn’t always easy being a kid like her but she is trying to do it just like you and I. On her own terms. But I beg you now to know she is much more than that.
And good God how will I ever survive my # 3? She is the one that just rounds this whole family out. She is still so new and innocent that her numbers, data, reports and performance have yet to be checked other than by Dr. So and So and while he may not be near as impressed as her Daddy and I are we know she too is special. She is gonna be every bit as unique as the other two and probably take us on just as many fun rides. So chances are she will find some way to get in front of you too and give you the opportunity to gauge her performance, take her data, test her or talk about her on paper. But take it to the bank that I will be just as demanding and just as much a pain in the ass as I was with # 1 and # 2.
So next time you deal with me remember that they are my world. And understand that by my allowing you to test them, see them, gauge their success and rate their performance that I am letting you also have a little piece of my world. Hold it gently and tread lightly and know that one wrong move either way that I will be a pain in your side. That is not because I am a bitch or aggressive or am looking for an axe to grind against you.Instead it is because they will always be more than those fixed things above. I am a good parent. I know this. I don’t need your numbers, reports or tests to know it. My daughters show me everyday. Now can you see it?