While thinking about food and my eating of it this weekend and then watching Kathy Ireland on the Doctors suggest you should use mayo on your hair versus in a salad. I realized just how much food relates to my mood and that there will always be a reason to eat.
For example, I had an extremely emotional week last week. To me that meant it was okay to comfort myself with food. This week I am sporting a snot nose and therefore here comes the comfort food again. Out to dinner Saturday with friends, we were out for a much need parental break, well then, you better eat up!
Are you sensing the pattern here? If pressed I could easily find a reason for every little morsel I place into my mouth. Even my BF and I talked yesterday about how we even sometimes blame that we live in Indiana where a healthy diet can sometimes be scarce.
It is easy to blame those things but one part of the blame misses from each of the equations. It is my hand that places that food in my mouth. However, I realized I have a much bigger problem that has to be dealt with before I can even address the mood eating. My biggest nemesis has been and always will be I am faithfully and lovingly addicted to Pepsi. A day does not go by that it doesn’t cross my lips. The more time goes on the more reason I find to drink. Some days most of my caloric intake can be attributed to the sugary substance my brain thinks it needs to even function.
I don’t think it is a coincidence that when I started teaching my pepsi intake jumped. But now, it is officially out of control. I go on spells where I cut down, but then a kiddo is sick, or I have to pull a graduate student late nighter and I cannot even function without multiple pepsi’s.
I know how to fix this. But sitting down deciding to do it is the hard part. I love pepsi. I love it like I love my children and my guy. I suppose that is the goal of soda industry right? Although I am not one for pointing out all of the evils of corporate America because it is my hand moving it to my mouth.
As I have tried to make less of me in the world I have had various goals. Be a runner. Lose massive amounts of weight. They all yo-yo but one thing that has always existed and I have ignored is my relationship with Pepsi. That is so bad I go out of my way to hide it from others.
Even though it seems humorous to come here and admit I am Pepsi’s Bitch. It actually is not funny at all. I can control what I eat easier than my Pepsi intake. I feel like I cannot function without it. I get irritated if I don’t have it. I mean extremely irritated. I am secret about just how much I consume. I plot and plan when I can have it again. I drink it and then feel better once I have it. And last but not least I always pronounce, there is always tomorrow to give it up. Is this not the making of an addiction?I am thinking it is.
Now that I identified it. Came out publicly. It is time to deal with it.