In the last week or so I have had two people make comments on their impressions of me and how I handle things. I was a more than a bit surprised to hear that they thought that I “had it all together”. Shocked was more like it. In fact, I am now considering a career in acting, because I think that is what they are seeing.
Joking aside, these acting skills come in handy when I have to be confident, because I am anything but. I am shy and I don’t like to talk in front of groups or even approach new people. I get nervous talking to anyone in positions of power- I blame my dad for that one- yet, somehow I seem to keep ending up in these situations more and more.
I am a fixer, I always want to fix problems that I see, so if I see others are busy or having a bad time, I certainly don’t want to add to it. I want to cheer them up, take away the stress, fix everything all up nice and neat and put a big bow on it. Even as I write this, I am trying to figure out how to sweeten it up!
I don’t ever want to be fake, especially to people I am close to, but at the same time I want to enjoy them and have some laughs. I am afraid they wouldn’t be my friend for long if all I did was mope and gripe about things. Of course I know that they would still be my friends, but something in my head always tells me if I am not “the perfect friend” I will lose them. So I bottle it up, hide it as best as I can and smile.