Oh the consequences of getting up at 5AM to grade. By 9AM I am ready for a nap and spent the better part of the morning 9-12 trying to stay awake only realizing I am falling asleep when # 3 says, “You not sleep now, Momma!”
I did try and stay awake. My goal for today was to get 44 drafts graded. I looked at 44 drafts. Checked if they met length and MLA requirements. The rest went out the window. Oh well! I do try and be superwoman and I am not so good at it. (click on cartoon for credit and to see more)
Around this time in the semester I wane sick of the kids that don’t care, wish I could just teach the kids that do and not sure what I want to happen to the rest. Teaching is fun. I do love it and I love to see what my class inspires in them. But I have trouble letting them fail even when they make me so mad I could spit. I gotta get better at allowing them to make their adult choices and live with the consequences.
It is a fact of life that we all live with every day. Some days we make the wrong decisions and some days we make the right ones. I just have to understand I am a professor they will likely forget. If they choose not to pass my course it has much less to do with me and more about the decisions they are making.
But when I go with that mental attitude it feels as though I have given up on them. You peg them at the beginning of every semester. The ones that will fringe on failure and some fall over the side and you toss them a life vest but they still go over. Others succeed or even use the life vest and realize I do care about them.
The hard part for me is accepting my own consequences of being a teacher. I cannot save every single student. One purpose of college is to weed out those that cannot succeed. They (the students) just don’t realize the decision is up to them and they have to make it. It has nothing to do with good/bad professors or a good/bad environment. It is all in how you choose to adapt. But it is a choice. And with that choice comes consequence.
While I am writing on consequence I feel many consequences today. I got up too early. I am extremely sore from a 2mile walk/run. My stomach is meh because I drink too much pepsi. I wrote a really long great post but decided I am not ready to share, so now I have this one that is mediocre. I now have 44 drafts I have to go through and provide feedback on because I decided to semi nap most of the morning. It is 1:18 and I am still in my jammies because I am lazy and I gotta be at #2 & #1’s school to pick up # 2 @ 2. I
s not our whole life about consequence?