The whole of this Just Write will be solely dedicated to the idea of the act of writing. Many argue that writing is a solitary and lonely thing. And at times I believe it can be. But the way I see it and envision it my writing is anything but solitary. It is the world through my eyes. It is the things I am afraid to utter. It is the loneliness busting out trying to share.
A few years back singer Anna Nalick had a pop song on the radio called “Just Breathe-2AM” and I always related that song to my own need to write.
“2 AM and I’m still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it’s no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I’m naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud”
My words-they are a threat and I feel strangled in the mass of the words that flow in my head if I do not sit down and write. For many years now I have blogged them. Thinking maybe just maybe if I put them out into the world it would mean something to someone. Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn’t. My goal and intention was never set out to be the next great American Blogger. I would be satisfied knowing just a few were reading and appreciated what I had to say.
All I know is when my words stop being written I feel different. I feel as if a piece of me is missing and it is a lonely and scary place to be. Writing words is more to me than having an Bachelors or Masters in Composition. It is more to me than teaching students every semester about composition. It is more than being able to study and name famous rhetoricians and composition theorist. Those things those just gave me the ability to be in it and of it. They are all important so I can eventually claim to understand my area of study and be able to speak on it. But I was born loving to write, I had this innate call to write since I was child. It didn’t develop in some dant dark freshman composition room in college. Maybe it was reignited then but it certainly didn’t begin then.
I sometimes wonder if others see their writing like I see mine. Then I will have that occasional student that proclaims they want to write a novel or are good at writing. I see it in them. I don’t always know if they see it, but I see it. I find myself interconnected with them with our kindred spirits for words and the composing of them.
The question I ask myself all the time is what makes you a writer? Is it having an audience? Is it just because you participate in the act of? Is it what my stat counter says? Do larger stats make me a writer? Or do you look at some of the google searches that brought them here? “Fat Girl”, “No”, “Golf”? Because if you look at that the insane amounts of times those things brought someone here I am imagine that would put a dent in my stats, right? All of those things are not what this blog is about. Instead it is words, my composing whatever said topic pops up that day. Sometimes yes it could be fat girl but most of the time it is just is….words. Nothing complex, nothing overly exciting. Just tapping into who Mommy Rhetoric is trying to be.
People ask me, “So you wanna write a book?” My response is always, “meh?” I don’t exactly know what I want to do with my life yet. I do know that whatever I do it will be done with copious amounts of writing involved. I need it for my soul. I need it to survive. Most of all with my writing I know I am never alone because when there are words to be written or thoughts to be placed on paper/computer screen they can make any lonely moment feel much less solitary.