Last post today but last week we saw #2’s therapist and it ended up being more of an appt for me than her. But that was okay. We needed to touch base on where he saw her going and how he felt we should proceed. I flat out asked, “She is autistic right?” He smiles and says in that oh so confusing way that therapist use to get you to talk. “Why do you ask? Are you asking because you think it? You have been told it or you want her labeled?” I knew something of that nature would be coming. I expected as much as he is highly educated and does his homework.
I smiled, I cried and I told him I had my suspicions and that I had discussed it with family doc and teachers. He then probes, “If I say yes will it change anything? If I say no what will you do?” I think again somewhat prepared for this line of questioning. I said, “I love my # 2 no matter what I just feel like it is a battle. A battle where the world is always against her. I just want to feel prepared for fight. He of course probed this further.
We talked specific disorders and what our goals are for dealing with them and talked through the idea of labeling a child in the educational and social world and the cost of it. He provided me with the perspective I felt like I needed. He laid some groundwork discussion that we need to have as a family and work through in time for a family session in January.
I will be honest I am still wavering on how much is too much to share here because this is supposed to be more about how I deal with it and not invading her privacy and how she lives with it. She has enough ugliness to deal with that I worry the risk of sharing too much here.
I will say what I walked away with that day was that I love my daughter. Nothing has ever changed that nor will it. I love that she is so unique and special. All of her quirks and social mistakes just reaffirm what I already knew. She is an amazing little girl who loves and lives with her whole entire self and she doesn’t show it like the rest of us. And it is not because she is different but because she does not always know how and when she thinks she does her brain tells her wrong. But when given the chance, watch her she will do something amazing. That much I am sure of because she does it already every day.
When I think of my daughter I always think of this specific Dr. Seuss quote. You all know my love of Dr. Seuss…