Ambivelance

Though surgeons, insurance companies and doctors might label some surgeries elective I believe that many of them are less about being elected and more about necessity. No one might not die without said surgery but one might feel a whole hell of a lot better with said surgery.

That is me. Yes folks I have “elected” to have a surgery that will ease or (hopefully) eliminate my migraines. And I have noticed that things have changed because I decided to sign on the dotted line that I wanted this surgery. The way my insurance company deals with me, the way that people deal with me and what I have to pay.

Can I venture to say that the build up to and dealing with surgery is similar for any surgery be it a boob job, liposuction, tonsillectomy or heart surgery? Yes procedures are different but the actual emotional aspects to dealing with the whole process similar. I am nervous. I am ambivalent. I actually want to run the other direction but won’t. I am fearful of the what ifs. But at the end my life will be better despite the fact that what I have chosen to do is elective and I believe it will be better for those around me.

In order to have the procedure I need for dealing with the migraines I have to have a procedure to take away my ability to have babies for safety purposes and I am totally okay with that. We knew after # 3 having anymore would be a risk, so it was with very quick thought that I easily said good-bye to that side of myself. We don’t want anymore anyway and I kind of let that emotionally go upon my I am not one of them, I am me post.

When I went to doctor to begin with just shy of a year ago we tried all avenues and I initially chose the cheaper method. That kind of pisses me off but that is life. Insurance is at a premium and deductibles are high. That method did NOT work or it worked for awhile. I have grown more and more miserable and they were disrupting my daily life more and more (as I shared here). Upon my last visit it took barely anytime at all to say this is the course of action to take. I kind of knew where we would head going in. I had made peace with it and moved forward.

There are many more thoughts ruminating on this topic. The idea of insurance and it’s evil versus necessity argument, the ridiculous costs, the fact that we allow for a work place to provide such horrible insurance without any conscious. But truthfully, those are a fights for another day. My goal for today is to get myself ready. I am nervous. I am ambivalent. But I am so ready for a life with less migraines. Life will be better because I have elected to make it better.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s