Our Sunday morning treat almost every Sunday is donuts. We consume them one of three ways. Sometimes I make them from scratch with this recipe (minus the melted butter), sometimes we buy bakery donuts or sometimes we buy the Entemann’s or hostess versions. This is something we have done since they have been eating “people” food. It has always been a nice E family ritual and one that my girls love to share when we have company. Where is it wrong, right? Any other day of the week it is cereal and fruit or toast and eggs or sometimes we will add a protein in there but usually time dictates that. But Sunday’s are our day to “sugar” out.
The routine usually goes a little something like this: #2 and I get up and slowly #3 stirs and both demand breakfast fairly soon after arising. I jiggle my guy up earlier than he wishes and he stumbles outta bed, into some clothes and usually goes to buy the scratch version stuff, or the tiny donut rings or the bakery version. Well today was a bakery version. And he was especially tired so he opted for some caffeine via Diet Mountain Dew. And now you wonder why this story, why now right? Well let me tell ya.
He was in line to pay and a lady who he at first classified as a nice elderly lady whom he assumed was dressed for church says, “Who is that for?” While pointing to his cart. He says proudly, “my girls.” Never imagining what would come next. She says, “You let your children drink pop?” And he says, “Oh no, that pop is for me. They don’t drink pop usually.” She says, “Some role model you are.” At this point my guy is starting to get irritated and the cashier realizes it and says, “Oh it is nice to come to the store on a Sunday morning and be judged by some lady isn’t it?” Her innocent gesture he believed was coming out as more of an apology for a woman she had no real control over. He smiles and tries to be forgiving and says jokingly, “It is okay, I have four girls at home. I know how it goes.” He and cashier giggle and talk about our girls because they know us.
Then Mrs. Elderly Lady decides at that time to say, “Shame on you, you have four small children at home and you feed them that junk.” He says, “Actually, I have three girls and a wife. Not that it is your business.” And she says, “Have you ever heard of [insert some verse in the bible that my guy cannot remember but having to do with being a role model and recites it to him verbatim].” At this point my guy is done with his transaction and clearly done with this conversation and the cashier tries to sway the elderly lady to her own transaction just getting ready to take place. As my guy leaves the old woman had the audacity to tell him what an ungodly man he is and shamed him for his leadership role in our family because he purchased our children donuts on a Sunday morning and my guy bought a Diet Mountain Dew.
Now these are the facets of religion that always rub me the wrong way. It got me thinking about why I don’t post more about my own spirituality here and this is exactly why. At what point do we place ourselves out there for people to judge how Christian we are or are not? If I proclaim it and than fail miserably because I say the word “shit” a little too much I know exactly where I stand with God but I don’t know where that makes me stand with you. And that scares me. Women like that scare me because I guarantee she goes to church every Sunday but how in the world is what she did to my guy Christian behavior? And worse yet, it really isn’t my right to decide if her behavior is right or wrong. This is why I believe so many struggle with religion because of this type of behavior. There is a real beauty in what God can provide to us but there can be some real ugliness when some of us try interpret it.
I always back up my voicing of my spirituality here and in the real world by stating that I am the same person Saturday night that I am on Sunday morning but here is the fallacy in that argument: So is she. If she is willing to condemn a father and husband at grocery store on Sunday morning for buying DMD and donuts I am fairly certain she is willing to do the same Sunday morning to guy in the pew who may have done the same. That is hard to reconcile for me. Who is right?
All I can say is every Sunday in my church lobby they happily serve pop, punch, donuts and often cakey type treats and cookies. What does that mean and what does that say for my church leadership? Nothing really, in my opinion, other than it is a nice welcome for those who choose to partake. I guess I don’t dig deep enough to decide the spiritual meaning of donuts and pop. However, I found myself highly offended and judged by this lady I never even saw and I am fairly certain if I were to be the one in that line (as sometimes I am) I would have had to say a few extra prayers today for my response because I am not sure I would have just walked away.
The best response would have been to respond the way my #2 did upon hearing the story. She thinks it through as she is listening and says, “So why do we care what she thinks? God loves donuts.”
*And yes doughnuts is spelled wrong. I know this but donuts is easier. 🙂