Well most of my tests came back. They were all fine. The one we wait on is a blood culture which takes time to grow whatever may be there and even longer to treat it with antibiotics to see what will work. What if it shows nothing? Admittedly a real fear for me. Because really what is left?
I still felt awful yesterday. In the morning I felt hopeful and a little better. Then by 11 I was back to same old tricks. The only thing I noticed that was happening differently is that I could tell my body was actually working harder to cool me off. Several times I felt my temp shoot up and felt about 20 mins later my body trying to cool itself off. This is not something that has been happening. I am praying that is a good sign. The bad sign is my blood pressure is sky rocketing when my fever goes up. My heart feels like it will pound out of my chest.
I am teaching this morning because my students are in the middle of revising their first paper and I just feel like it is so important to be there. I did decide to share what was going on to some extent last week so they knew if things changed it wasn’t because I was lazy.
The hardest part of all of this is with a cold you can force yourself to go on. Work. Cook. Clean. Facebook even. With this I have no energy. I force myself to shower and take care of my girls. Advil thankfully helps some. But it feels alone. I feel removed from life. I had to miss my own class. My friends I think are tired of my I don’t feel good texts. They are always the same.
I am seeing the doc again today and he promised we would do something. So today’s the day.