Because being sick IS funny

I know that cliched statement of “Being sick is never funny.” And I imagine the most gruffed up wrinkled face spouting it and inside Mommy Rhetoric is thinking, “Well really it is!” You can get lost in the details sometimes yes but seriously some of my funniest moments are when my family or I have been down.

My Advice: In order to follow social protocol don’t laugh in the moment, but you should just politely laugh later.

Take for instance:

-Days after my January surgery # 2 puts it all together that I had surgery on my abdomen for my migraines. While contemplating this very deeply she asks, “Mom, did you have surgery on your virginia?” In that moment I had to have an impromptu birds and bees that # 2 took quite literally and now the entire human race have switched to birds because we hatch dontcha know? I didn’t tell her different.

-Or I think back to all those shining lovely moments of newborn spew (admittedly maybe not technically sick but in the gross category) flying across my living room, the obligatory up in the air and down into Momma’s mouth moment and last but not least the wearing baby vomitus on your clothes all day with no idea. Or my guy and I’s first moments with our #1 and her new babyness and our stupidity. My guy changing a diaper taking his sweet time realizing poop out of babies who eat solely liquid proclaims, “Dang this thing is like a playdough factory.” All the while it is my hand there cupped and catching it. :/

-And the poop moments? Come on we all do it. When #2 was 2 she contracted the rotavirus before they vaccinated for it. I can full heartedly attest that it was likely someone that had to clean up after a child that had rotavirus that invented that damn vaccine. I will spare details and share just enough to make me laugh in this moment. The walls, the clothes, the tub wall, the blankets, the car seat, the hospital floor, the nurses, the mom and the dad and for good measure all over the self including eating. Num!

-It was the spring of 2000 my guy had his wisdom teeth removed. What happened next created years of laughter and bribery related activity.

-The tongs the doc uses to pull objects of fluff out of children’s noses look eerily like something I remember seeing in high school that help one not burn their hands. It takes on a whole different look when being plunged into a child’s nose.

I have quite a few more recent ones of course given my recent stint in sickville.

-When you puke a lot (not quantity of stuff, quantity of times) and you don’t really know when it is coming this creates numerous humorous moments. 70mph on a high way. In the grocery store. Standing up. Really the list could go on. More humorous for the puker but people freak out about puke…so when you can easily puke just to play with them it has its fun moments.

-Peeing your pants because of said puke. I mean peeing your pants despite preparing for said leakage. Give me a break I have had three children. Or even better sitting in your gyn office in the robe and nothing else and getting the puke urge which is followed by cupping your hands to catch what you can cause there is a sink in there and you can wash your hands. Until you go to turn it on, it doesn’t work. No worries paper towel available. Then gyn wants to offer a handshake as he leaves. I will let you wonder how I handled that one.

Okay now that I have embarrassed myself 10 ways from Sunday I am happy to say I am now four antibiotic pills in and following the tylenol regiment and I am feeling relief. I am not feeling my usual self but I didn’t expect to be. He really believed it would be early next week before I could proclaim yes I feel so much better. But my late afternoon evenings are always more telling. Unfortunately, the puking is not good. He said it would get worse before better. I don’t know why; if it is the antibiotics or the sickness? All I know is the puking while it adds “rich” moments, is gross.

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2 thoughts on “Because being sick IS funny

  1. Pingback: What I was too nice to say… « Mommy Rhetoric

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