Okay enough nicey, nicey because really MommyRhetoric has a tendency to be way more real but censored in her language than me. When you see me in person sometimes what you get is a very different less “soft” version. So if you are precious flower that cannot handle a little, as my # 2 likes to spell it out, C-U-S-S-I-N-G than it is probably best that you better do me and you a favor and click that purdy little red x in the corner. Because I am quite certain you may walk away a little offended. And I kind of don’t care…or no, I really don’t care.
Obviously, I am too old for Facebook….What I meant…Yea I think your asshole because you write a bazillion posts and I act like it was the best thing written since Shakespeare when we both know it is NOT. I click likey likey and write some sweet post when I just really want to say, “Who the heck cares?” What I really should do is defriend all of the people who aren’t really my friends and use facebook the way this old lady sees fit.
Ugh, why can’t I just get sick like a normal person? & & You knew this was coming right? What I meant…Doctors suck or at least mine does. Thanks to you and your office I have probably robbed my children of all their happy memories where Momma doesn’t pee her pants or puke multiple times a day, Asshole! You and your, “it is just a virus” or “Can you try and wait and come in tomorrow” almost killed me and I am still dealing with the same virus and month and half later.
More Than Words. What I meant…Great now I have to sit around and wonder if people will finally discover I am a fraud and escort me out especially because I publicly admitted I am not perfect and never was.
You give religion a bad name….What I meant…Stop being a bitchy old hag!
Just write: No One Knows But Me…What I meant…I felt like hell and was trying to be a martyr and failed miserably. Why do I do that? Stop it MR!
The Fever that Just Won’t Quit! What I meant…I know who my real friends are and you are not it (said in the most snarky nasty tone ever similar to that popular kindergarten tune ennie meanie mineie moe).
Because Being Sick is Funny…What I meant…I won’t admit that there were stories that were too embarrassing that they didn’t make the cut. Never!
My Daughter has a Disability. What I meant…If you ever encounter my daughter in a manner that hurts her, demeans her, or you gossip about her because you think you may know something about her disability, or you make her cry….Watch the hell out! I will introduce you to what my girls call Mean Mommie but 500x worse and I will kick your ass and you will be very sorry.
Just Write: Grace. What I meant…Stop being such an asshole to people. You never know what is going on in their lives and I should apologize because I am kind of lacking that grace right now!
Whatever…What I meant…Whatever, I am gonna be me. Don’t like it, lump it jerk!
I wanna be that girl but I am not. What I meant…I have some weight to lose I may not be the world ‘s version of pretty but I got an awesome guy who adores me and three beautiful girls who don’t see that scale. I got everything I want.
Just call me a welcome mat. What I meant…The reoccurring theme here is that I clearly place too much time and effort into people when they place none into me. Yes I think you are rude for not emailing me back or pretending you didn’t get my message or are too busy to respond. I am pretty busy but I felt you were important enough to write it. And yes I find it an assholely/bitchy move to never tell me thank you for what I did. Now if I could just perfect the magical art of sign language that says what I really mean. Oh wait… _l_ Texting did.
And with my own most famous post (viewed over 1000 times and I am not sure why)…NO NO NO NO!…What I meant…why is it so damn hard saying no to people and things that I know don’t matter. Especially when I know I am missing saying yes to the things that really do. I just want to say no no no no! Why didn’t I?
And last but not least…Sometimes stuff is just stuff…I am not materialistic. I don’t have to have the finest of everything. In fact, I may just have some jeans and dresses from walmart and what isn’t new is probably a hand me down. I don’t have the nicest, newest version of each computer and phone they make. We drive two cars that are totally paid off and sometimes need a little work. I get pretty irritated when people obsess about expensive nails, fancy stylish clothes, or having the best of everything because all of that means pretty much nothing to me. I buy what I can when I can and save the rest to take care of my family. It may not be enough for you but it is for me.
And deep sigh in and Mommy Rhetoric the nice is back in the house and I felt like I needed to do that because I try and be fair, loving, caring, and full of grace with most things. But sometimes I just want to be a bitch.