A year ago I made a commitment to myself and to this blog that I would be me. The one problem I always had as a blogger is I tried to give this picture of my world that became fragmented and my readers would only see the chosen bits and pieces that I decided to share. So I became Mommy Rhetoric and tried to share a little bit and piece of everything and not just the pretty stuff. MR is a little bit mouthy, a
little bit a lot OCD, a working momma and well me. What you see here is what you would see if we had a girl date (or date but I don’t date…I am married). I kind of like MR because she is me. We are one in the same. Admittedly I am a little less mouthy unless you really know me but oh well.
Yesterday I read one of the finest posts on a blog (“Your Children Want You“) I have read in a long time and it really touched on something that I think women struggle with. Especially since the world is so connected. I mean we are in each others business all the live long day through social media. And while it sounds as if I am saying it is a bad thing, I don’t believe that it is. I just actually think we need to acknowledge out loud the two sided blade it is. It has good and it has bad.
We have to remember when we see and spot perfection that we are only seeing these little blips of these moments that someone is choosing to share. We aren’t seeing the whole picture. But it is hard, hard, hard, hard, hard not to remind ourselves of that fact despite knowing it. We are sizing ourselves up to these seemingly awesome people via Pinterest, a blog, facebook or twitter and thinking that is something we will never be. Instead of realizing the good we do in the world for those in our worlds.
I am not a perfect mother. I try damn hard to be. I get up in the morning to feed them and I always rub their backs and read them a book at night. I am a PTO mom, I volunteer to help in their extra curricular activities, I make time to brush their hair every single day. Does that make me a good mom? Maybe by societies lame standards. Cause sometimes I can get down right grouchy. Sometimes I want to take the mom title and just take a momentary break if only for 5 of the longest minutes that ever took place.
I am not a perfect wife. I try damn hard to be. I stay up waiting for my guy when he is adjuncting or at a golf meet. I get up in the morning to kiss and hug him good bye when I don’t have to. I make his favorites in the weekly menu plan. I always remember every week he likes to eat graham crackers and oatmeal so he always has a long lasting stash. Does this make me a good wife? By a 1950’s magazine print out maybe. But sometimes I don’t feel like being that wife when he is gone again. Or he is sweaty after a long work out or mowing the grass. Or he leaves his “guy” type messes around the house. Or he forgets the romance that I do like because I am a romantic, he just isn’t.
And truthfully, I could go label by label line by line the things I love about my life and I could tell you the parts that are hard and I don’t always like but more than anything I want you to know that there are more like us. We read those “highlight reels” and feel a little less adequate in being a mom, wife, baker, blogger, teacher (and the list could go on and on and on). So at that very moment when you are feeling that…look in the mirror and remember that:
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt, This is My Story