Just Write: Brick Walls

This new job is a challenge I hit these brick walls almost daily. You know the ones. The ones that feel insurmountable. Maybe it is a weight issue or your attitude. Or it is people. We all have them. In teaching, I feel like there are so many times I think to myself I cannot do this. Only almost every single time an hour later I am.

There are students at both levels that have issues that seem impossible for me to fix or break through. I try to show I care and remind myself I can only do some much. Some of the choice has to be theirs. It is no secret that this is my Achilles heel when it comes to teaching. I want and believe I can fix everyone and truth is. Some are just unreachable. But I type that and I know I don’t mean it. I just whole heartedly believe someone somewhere can reach them. It may not always be me but it is possible.

In college, the chase is minimal. In high school that is the biggest difference. You can chase (ie call parents) and maybe it will work and maybe it won’t. But they are most certainly accessible. But the brick wall I have is continually reminding myself I can do this! I will do this! It is hard to not want to be the favorite or have them like me. I don’t care about it I really don’t. But I do want them to feel like they can do it because of me. When that doesn’t happen it is hard.

So I suppose we all have brick walls to overcome. My brickwall now is juggling it all and convincing myself I can do it. As I sit and drive in the car daily and wonder how I will do all I need to. I still feel like a failure. I still less than. But I can and will do it.

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