I read a book the other day. It was an epiphany kind of book.
I know, I know! I adore books and whichever one I am reading is the best book of all times and a life-changer. Seriously though, this one REALLY was. Plus some parts were laugh out loud funny.
After I finished it, I thought- “Phew! I am so glad I am not the only crazy person on this planet!” In fact, I thought why do I even hide all my craziness inside? It is stressful, it is time consuming, and it makes me seem snobby or mentally slow. I still claim shy though, I really am sometimes shy.
I have decided to just let the crazy out. The best part is that maybe the people around me will let their crazy show a little more too. Maybe.
I won’t have to take too long to answer people by trying to figure out the acceptable way to say things. I may not even edit all the swear words out! Because eventually if you stick around me long enough you will find that I can cuss like a sailor.
Seriously though, I have always had to pay very close attention to that little filter that thoughts go through before they become words. I get very nervous and just don’t say anything sometimes because I am afraid I will slip and say something crazy like, “Your lips look like they would be soft to kiss.” at very inappropriate times to people that I really shouldn’t say things like that to. I don’t actually want to kiss their lips or anything, it is just more like an observation. But I know it will sound weird. So instead I am trying to figure out something else to say, but I can’t. All I can think of is their lips. Or my thoughts may jump to something else by then. Like a line from a movie for example, that still wouldn’t be quite right to say out loud. So I just stay quiet until the filter finally finds something that doesn’t need an explanation after it.
The author from the book has similar issues. And many more, to be honest. I think my filter may work a little better than hers, but the point is that she still has people who love her the way she is. She says her weird thoughts, gets the weird looks, tries to explain, then everyone just moves on.
Who knows, the soft lips person may have totally taken that as a compliment. Maybe.