Should I stay or should I go?

It has been made evident multiple times that I am found out. Outted here. My identity revealed. That I have discussed here before. But I must admit the more I think of my students meandering around my MR blog, the more I feel encroached upon. This is my space. I reprimand them and tell them I am not all that exciting. I do like that they get to see I am real live human, with a life, a family and cares. But I hate the idea of the easy access to me. To my family.

imagesI am a blogger. I have been for awhile. So I wondered if I shouldn’t maybe start a new blog? Do I lose my mommy rhetoric identity and create a new one? The identity that I finally feel at home in and love. Mommy Rhetoric is me and I am her. And I know that really my life is NOT that exciting that they would read and be so riveted they stay.

So alas, the break. I have taken approximately the last three weeks off (almost a month) to think. Decide. Wonder. I am not sure that decision is made. I don’t want to give up this space. But I don’t want this space to become the place students come to investigate Mrs. E. But I have made peace with the public forum of which I write. I did that a long time ago. So I guess maybe these are growing pains of a new sort.

Teaching kids is way different than teaching to adults. My identity is tied to perception. I love my job, I love our program and I worry at times that I represent something much bigger than myself in this forum. So I need to move forward methodically with great thought placed on that movement. Does this make sense?

As well, Mommy Jargon and I are wanting to do a blog together. I mean truly together. Not guest posts. One where she is herself and I am me. This is something I have always been highly interested in. But will that space be too much with this, my job and school. And school is just about over. I will be the proud new owner of my MA in English from IU this summer. I KNOW that my life will look significantly different come this summer. But that is hard for me to even contemplate considering I have not ever stopped schooling since August of 2002.

So this is where I am at. You all will be the first to know. I will blog…not sure when and how. But I will blog. For now, I am keeping this space and trying to see myself in it!


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