I met Kyle at a weird time in my life. I was young, stupid and trying to figure it all out. I had some bad relationships and wasn't really wanting anything with anyone. We went out on a whim. I kinda of jerked him around a little bit. Mostly because I was clueless of what I wanted. But he never was. He was solid, stable and wanted me. That is why I married him.
But something happened along the way. I did fall in love with him. He was amazing to me. He brought me such happiness and a source of love and comfort that I never had really ever. We dated a full year off and on. Finally about four months before we got engaged we both pretty much knew it was forever. We were inseparable and he made me laugh. I mean all out belly laughs that make your stomach hurt. That is why I married him.
And on the day he did propose he unbeknownst to me went to my Dad's house and asked if he could marry me. All I knew is I was making a chicken dinner for us and we were watching 8 Seconds (out in 1994) It was our Friday night ritual. I was growing irritated because he was later than usual. But once he was there we ate and started watching the movie. He wouldn't sit still though. Finally he asked me to pause our VCR tape (yes feeling older and older) and he pulled out a dozen red roses and was on one knee. That is why I married him.
And when the day finally came I heard a story. A story of him at the end of the aisle. At the end of the aisle a man who was barely out of boyhood crying. When he was asked why he was crying his response was, "I just love her so much." I never knew this until after I got back from my honeymoon. But what a story. That is why I married him.
That same man who has left his work countless times to come fix my flat tire. We are on tire # 13 in our life together. The same man who laid on the ground beside me with the birth of every daughter just to hold my hand and get me through the next contraction. The man who held me up last year when my grandfather died and I was supposed to read his eulogy. That is why I married him.
We grew up together and have bought two houses, lived in two apartments, had 8 jobs, 3 college degrees, 4 pregnancies, countless poopy diapers and rounds of baby vomit, four dogs and four deaths. Traveled through at least 11 states and flown on an airplane 14 times. But we have been laughing and loving the whole way. That is why I married him.
Last night I was climbing into bed and #3 wasn't tired. I heard her say, "Color with me Daddy." And I heard his voice go a little higher in a voice reserved for our girls and he said, "Want me to color a pumpkin for you, Buddy?" A special nickname he has for just her. She says, "I love you, Daddy." I hear rustling and him audibly squeeze her and say, "I love you too, Buddy." That is why I married him.
And just now as I was looking through our old wedding photos and I relished in the fact that they
are faded, tattered and look worn I realized something. I saw this picture of kissing and I got butterflies. I still get butterflies. I look at him now and see slivers of gray, wrinkles on his eyes from smiling or crying and I see this life we have created together. And I still get butterflies. That is why I married him.
This week I have been especially exhausted from work. I mean ready for bed around 6 exhausted while he is in another round of TMJ pain and would probably like a early bed time too. But nope. There he is up doing dishes and finishing that last load of laundry before he heads to bed for the night. That is why I married him.
And yes he does have a lot of "stuff" he does like coaching, he is a sheriff reserve, football officiating and baseball umping. He is a stand in coach for the girls when needed and quite the proud #dancedad (check his twitter) running the girls here and there. That is why I married him.
Oh and he still rubs my feet every single night. Yup been doing this since our third date. Every single time we have been together in a day he has rubbed my feet. The only time he has not done this is when we are separated by states. Even on those 6 o'clock bedtimes. I wake up around 10 to him sitting on the end of the bed rubbing my feet. It is just what he does. That is why I married him.
The heartaches, the happiness and I know I would do it all again. That is why I married him.