And it is a diet. I hated calling it a diet. Mostly because I have a long streak of I don't do diets in my life. I don't do them for two reasons. They inevitably make me feel horrible about myself and because anytime in life where someone says, "You can't" or "You shouldn't"…can you guess what I want to do?
I constantly in a perpetual state of proving the world wrong that I can't do something. Ha ha. I don't mean to be but it is born in me. This second week of the cleanse was certainly more diety feeling. I felt deprieved and bitter at times. The funny part is bitter about not being able to have wine. I don't even really drink wine. Or bitter I couldn't have the cake in the teachers lounge.
Now I sound completely negative Nelly here and I am a little. But what I will say that is positive is that this diet has revealed to me the times that I mindlessly eat. I primarily am a healthy eater. I have a pop addiction. However, I have noticed that I have far too many "special occasions".
Now let me explain….I had a stressful day at school well then I should reward via pop or a little debbie. It isn't every day and it isn't all the time. But it is happening. This diet has forced me to see those moments for what they are. EMOTIONAL eating anyone?
Eating is more about the comfort it provides than the necessity for nourishment. I kind of knew this but the treats I am guessing add up. Therefore, I am forcing myself to actually think about what I consume and in those moments when I feel like I need to indulge trying to find other ways to cope.
What that has made happen in my house and at work is an overly emotional wreck. Let me see, I cried 87.6 times at work this week and about triple that at home. I yelled more than I care to even admit. But I did not emotionally eat.
And it may sound like I don't really like this diet. But I do. I needed to do it for a few reasons. The first and most importantly to say I did it. To prove to myself I could follow through on it. As I near the end of it this week I am quite proud by what I have accomplished concerning this diet. I know I have lost weight because I can tell and feel it. I also know that I will be more thoughtful in my diet. Less of what do I want….versus what do I need.
I also know that I need to get better about working out. See that stuff above? Well that stuff seems signifigantly better if I get my butt to the gym. There will always be a reason not to go, but I have to make time. It is important for myself.Plus honestly it is the best way for me to get my much needed doses of Kpuff. Where would I be with out her?
From my late night crazy, angry and want pizza texts to the joys of my pants feel a little more loose. I am lucky to have a support like that. From July of 2009 when I decided to tackle a more healthy me she has been there the whole way. Sometimes willingly and sometimes forcibly. But she has been there. She is an inspiration when I want to quit and joy when I am succeeding.
And the one big thing that has come from this that I think is amazing and kind of surprising is that I think moving forward quite a bit of my diet will be gluten free. My IBS has been signifigantly better. There are quite few healthy gluten free options of everything out there and most of the changes my family have not even noticed.
Therefore day 14, I see you as a success. I have had more chicken than I can even think of and more salads then I will probably ever want to have again. But I have found out that love lots and lots of veggies that I don't have near enough. Veggies like aspargus and sweet potatoes. And I love pom seeds and grapes. Nom nom nom. I don't need pop to live. I need good food to live.
And while it is quite unlikely I will entirely give up caffiene. I have found an amazing alternative. I already ordered a tub of Spark. I see an healthy alternative to it. One that I don't need, but is nice to have on those days that I do.
And I march on…..