Less of Me All Over Again.

Dear Fat Girl,

Sadly I let you win again. November came. TN came. Pop came. My beloved pepsi had the ability to keep me surviving. Somedays that is all you would let me consume. Three pepsi’s in and a dark night and I would wonder, “Is that all I had today?” And sadly, it was. I am embarrassed how many times I let you do that to me.

This fat girl likes to starve for stress and pig out for comfort. So what started out with a weight loss at the end of year turned in  weight gain from the comfort. You know how I know? My nails. They peel, they break and the shatter. No matter what vitamins I take, or fancy expensive nail fatme1polish I put on. They tell your story. Malnourished. How is it that one can consume more calories than one should in pop and be malnourished? Well it is here. It is me.

The story first of pepsi after pepsi with little sign of other nutrition. Then they tell sign of pop tarts for breakfast, a banana for lunch and pizza for dinner. I let you tell me Fat Girl that I was just trying to survive. And I was. But that was no excuse.

But how screwed up is that? Trying to survive is eating to survive. Not starving myself to survive. But I have done that. Yea I eat. But what I consume is gross. It is not nutritional. It is sad. Sad like me. But I have time to work on it. To work on me, now. It is time.

So yea Fat Girl, get ready. I have done it before and I will do it again. I will beat you. I will beat your naysaying ways. Fat girl, I have told you before and I will tell you again. You will not win! I love myself more!

Time to shove Fat girl back into the corner and for me to let my light shine again.

_________________

If you find yourself offended, worried about me or just plain horrified that I call myself Fat Girl. It really is okay; take some time to get to know me.  I am a beautiful and phenomenal woman andFat Girl was who I was when I didn’t know that. Want to read more? Less of Me Journals.

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