It hit me yesterday. You are my last baby. My last baby girl and you are starting kindergarten in roughly 7 weeks. 7 weeks is all that stands between you and your continual steps away from me. I never really realized how much I wanted and needed you until you were there. Once you were there I could feel you completing our puzzle. The calmness and my ability to sit down relish the moments came over me quick and fast. I knew the time would go fast but still as we prepare for these last few weeks I begin to worry if I shouldn’t have slowed down more.
At first I worried that your sisters would be jealous that I sat down and took more time. I worried they would be upset that I realized the moments fleet. The diapers they go. The baby food eventually stops being thrown. So I waited. I took our time. With nursing. With sleeping. With the stroller. With it all.
The ferociousness with which you live life in is a beautiful thing. I am witness to it everyday. I don’t know if it is because you are the last or if it just because I am tired. But you are determined to show us all that you talk like us and act like us. To show us that no matter how short you are or short tempered that you are our equal.
You have the sass that only your momma could be proud of. You have the determination (read: stubborness) of your father. You fight with every ounce of your being for what you believe to be right. Only to see that the fight you had hurt someone and you begin to cry. You follow it up with , “I still love you” in hopes of lessening the hurt.
Your caring soul is a beautiful testament to your passion for life and people. You are the proof that if you love a child unconditionally with no expectations of who they need to be in this world they will find their way. I have no doubt when you walk into that kindergarten classroom your eyes will sparkle for the new people and places that you will see. Your brightness with steal away your teachers heart. And your kindness will make you a multitudes of friends.
But don’t you ever forget that I am here. Your momma always. I am your safe place and you are mine.