I had forgotten…

I truly had forgotten just how therapeutic writing could be. After my last post, You moved on. We didn’t., I felt so much better. Actually I still do. The hardest part of this all for us is how easily people wipe themselves clean of you. As if we are some sort of burden because our problem doesn’t have a simple solution. I wish it did, but then again I actually don’t. The growth that has happened for my family during this has been amazing to be a witness to and be a part of.

xmas

 

Since my previous post I am not sure if it is his meds working more in harmony, the peace of knowing he is back under the care of Cohen and his colleagues or if I just feel that cathartic feeling you get when you get something off your chest. Whatever it is I seem to have found some sort of peace or I made peace. I have no doubt it is coupled with the many prayers we have received. We get so many texts, messages and just general concern that it makes me feel a little less alone. But in all honesty, he is doing well.

It is always easy to say that at 54 degrees outside and no stressors going on in life.  It won’t stay. Cold spells and stress are the worst. And we have plenty of them. Dr. Cohen has picked a neurologist to work with specifically on his case. We now have to wait. He has first access, but unfortunately that could take months. We are told it is because there are only a few who work with this and because he is sought after. He is constant contact as needed with both Cohen’s office and his neurologist here.

xmas1

 

Cohen did increase his dosages of neurotin so he is dealing with short term memory issues and fatigue at certain times of the day. He wanted to add in tegretol but he resisted because it requires weekly liver panel testing which he had to do from November 13 until March 14 of last year and does not want to do that. Of course, he will if needed. The nerve block seemed to cut down on the severity of the migraines and I have only noticed him complain about them about 4 times since he had that done. His biggest complaint now seems to be the transference to the right side of his face.

So yes I guess ranting in my blog helped. It always does. I just worry people get sick of always hearing it. But it is my reality. But my reality is also living in the moment. Today I got to go to lunch with my guy. A normal lunch where we held hands and talked about our future. It included TN, but there was good. There was a plan. That is my very definition of love winning because it always does.

xmas2My life isn’t perfect, but inside it there is a whole lot of perfection. 

 

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