SOLSC # 12: Solitude 



Very rarely do I get a few moments entirely to myself where someone doesn’t need something from me. That isn’t a complaint it is just a fact of life or better yet it is a season in life. It won’t always be this way. But I specifically get myself up at 5-5:30 very single morning, so I can accomplish everything that needs accomplished for the day. I want to be that mom and wife. I look forward to it each and every day. I usually finish up chores I ran out of steam for the night before. 

I find myself spread so incredibly thin during the day. Especially adding in a workout everyday. But that is exactly I need it because I feel like sometimes I kill myself to get it all done. Long days at work and short nights at home. Trying to care for everyone and myself. Getting done what needs done. If only I could seek out a few more hours, just a few. Or I could survive on a little less sleep. Last night it was four hours and 25 minutes. 

This is all without any caffeine in my day. I am not saying this to say I am busy. The whole world is busy. Look in on any life and it is busy. In fact, a busy life is a blessing. That isn’t wasted on me. But that busyness makes me so appreciate the solitude of silence in the air or music in my ears as I start the day. Sometimes I will work out, sometimes I catch up on DVR but most of the time I focus on being a mom and wife and making their days a little simpler and easier. 

I often feel like it is still not enough and beat myself up for what I don’t do. Alas this occupies my space in my head. Sure I would like another hour of sleep, but if I don’t do them often these things will not get done. But the solitude is nice and usually the kids are left with that magical feeling that this stuff just happens. But when they get older they will know the sacrifices that have been made. 

Today my muse is writing because I cleaned and did their homework and my own and finished two loads of laundry last night. Some days it is not that easy. 

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