People often don’t understand my faith the way I understand my faith and that is okay. I have always fully recognized it for its uniqueness. But the thing is I have faith. I understand it. I believe in something bigger than me. My faith guides and leads me through life’s ups and downs. And with that faith came a very strong will. In fact, such a strong will sometimes it comes across as stubbornness and quite frankly it is.
I have been humbled the last few weeks in people sharing with me that my frankness and openness in my weight loss and eating has helped them. For the last two days I have tried to come up with a way to say what that means to me. It means so much and I have really looked at it as my faith shining through.
Sometimes I wonder if my posts and ridiculous amounts of food pictures are too excessive on Instagram. But the reality is I have to be all in on this. I promised my revolution and to say it has consumed me is an understatement. But it makes my heart swell and want to keep going to know that people care enough to say I have helped to inspire them.
That is because I have been there on the other side of the screen and thought, “Man, I want to be that pumped up about eating and doing good for my body. I used others’ will trying to light a fire under my own. This kinda came to epitome yesterday when a random twitter follower classified me as motivation and inspirational.
I was jarred and taken back because this random stranger found me and followed me and labeled me as inspirational and motivation because I shared the reality of this journey. That is God speaking if I ever saw it. That is my faith in action in the highest manner. And quite honestly that is all I have ever tried to do here or on any of my social networking sites.
But that is what this all is….it is will power. It is sheer determination to make a change in my life and that change happened. It happened awhile ago. I am not saying there isn’t some changing still taking place. But my mind, heart and soul have changed. I choose to treat my body with kindness and love in the form of the foods and fuel I consume.
On Friday my family really wanted Culvers which is my addiction or at least was. I had a meeting after work and was close to one so I got it. I decided I would eat my favorite. It had been so long and I planned to make it as healthy as I could. I got a butterburger without a bun and just veggies. I also ordered a smaller fry. And you know what…it still tasted just as amazing without all the unneeded (for me) condiments and half the fries I would normally have tasted just as amazing as they did before. I refuse to beat myself up for it too.
And nothing changed after. I didn’t cheat or fail on this. I allowed myself to eat that way for one meal. And I got up the next day and it was business as usual. That folks is will. I could have beat the crap out of myself and sabotaged myself but I refuse. If I am making good decisions 99% of the time my body will repay in kindness to me. Of that I have absolutely no doubt!
Then yesterday was a mess of a lack of sleep, an over booked schedule , a migraine and just general stress. I managed to eat 1 salmon patty, 1 banana, 2 eggs and grapes, scrapings of salsa on carrots and few tortilla chips. Needless to say I was not nice to my body. I under ate calorie wise and needed much more protein. But I was busy. Add in there I walked 8 miles, had over two hours where my heart was in fat burning mode because of some awesome games of laser tag. I pushed my body too far and consumed too little.
But that too shows my will power and my faith that my will can be stronger than it was. I refuse to give in and eat junk to fuel my body. What that means today though is I am in recovery mode. That means extra clean eating and gentleness with my body in the form of replenishing the good stuff.
So I guess the moral of the story is this journey is about kindness, faith and will power. It takes all three and in the end it works.