Feeling sappy and sentimental tonight.

 

 I have the need to fix the world. It is burning hot and bright tonight. Tonight at 9pm. I have the irresistible urge to light the world on fire and ignite it fixing all of the world’s wrongs. And I hate that because it isn’t reasonable or even feasible. 

I can’t be Wonder Woman and do that all before I have to be ready to take my girls to school in the am and head off to work to finish the school year. It can’t and won’t happen but it isn’t for the lack of desire. Writers block if you will. That is where I am at with my blog. 

I can blog all day and everyday the fitness and dieting and how I feel about it all. But you know what I always tell my students when they tell me they have writers block? 

“It doesn’t exist. Be brave and say what you are scared to say. Write for yourself and no one else.” 

Wise words I suppose till they are pointed directly at you. I have words I want to say, but uttering them gives them life in a way I am not sure I am ready to deal with. Some days writing my truths are easier then others and really the only world I want to save is my own. 

I often wonder if the people that are supposed to love you don’t love you does that make you less of a person? Or less lovable? My gut says no, but my gut has been wrong before and will likely be wrong again. And if someone doesn’t love you who cares right? 

Clarity in this life is the best and only gift I can give myself. I know what matters and I know what doesn’t. But hurts, world saving, love less people and wrongs in the world. How come I want to fix them? Why do I feel the burden to make the world a better place? It shouldn’t be my burden alone.

So the only world I will be saving tonight and tomorrow is my own. I save it by recognizing that I am only one single human being that deserves love from those who are supposed to love you. But I get to make the terms. That is the tough part. It is finding the clarity to say to yourself, “love yourself first, love others and that saves the world and stops the hurt.” 

Love does win, you just have to let it.

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