My biggest weakness….

I have been a little frustrated with the weight loss lately. It isn’t happening nearly as fast as it was. I assume a few things are happening here. The first and probably biggest one is the amount of time I have to think about it. It is much like when you are waiting for baby to arrive toward the end. A minute takes a year.

IMG_2321The second I am working much harder. I am burning significantly more calories in a day but my caloric intake is still the same. I have added running into the mix of Kpuff and I’s workouts. When I was working I was burning anywhere from 1900-2200 a day and now I am burning around 2700-2900. I need to compensate more for that increase. I haven’t.

It is mostly a mental thing. It feels like a slippery slope when it comes to adding calories. I am so afraid my brain will translate “must eat more” to “diet off”. I still refuse to call this a diet because I have completely overhauled how I eat and what I eat. I don’t have any desire to eat how I did previously. But adding more equals scary and being afraid once there it could go down hill.

But I have experimented the last few days and noticed a difference. I added in more proteins via lean meats or protein shakes after runs/workouts. By golly my scale began to move. I knew logically this was a possibility. But it still scares me so I will just have to keep an eye on it. My average calorie intake is 950-980. I am trying to up that to 1200-1400. Especially if I am gonna keep up with the physical pace I have been setting.

And though I don’t necessarily see the scale jumping down my inches continue to go down. Minus my guns….Ha ha! I have muscles in my arms after a lot of hard work on them the last few weeks and I grew an inch. I am seeing inches going down in all the right spots for a woman of my age.

But my biggest weakness continues to be carbs. Who doesn’t like carbs right? Well I do. Last night #3 wanted to go to an Italian restaurant for her birthday and honestly it was and has been the only time I truly struggled being in the presence of food. The bread sticks, the rich sauces really made me struggle. My # 2 who considers herself a food expert kept going on and on about her sauce on her pasta to the point where I begged her to stop.

It was a funny moment, but I was kinda serious. The temptations were real and I didn’t not have any pasta. I know if I deprive myself that deprivation will lead to resentment of mycake diet and of myself. So I ordered the healthiest thing I could locate (ravioli with a tomato marinara) and I ate the crap out my gigantic salad before hand.

The temptations didn’t stop there because there was birthday cake. A treat I have had no trouble turning down till my newly minted 6 year old wanted me to have a piece. I ate it with little regret and remembered this is why I have been working so hard. I want to be able to enjoy these things without the constant consequences. That is the difference from the last time. I indulged and indulged and did so with little thought or exercise.

It is hard to not beat yourself up though. But I had an amazing night with my family and I know the numbers are just numbers. My clothes, my attitude and my feeling about myself is what makes this revolution worth every drip of sweat and sacrifice made.



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