I am slowly but steadily sliding into a routine over here. Which means for my blogging world that I can get back to blogging my usual stuff and times. I knew I owed my readers and myself time to sit down and crunch my numbers and what not. But I will NOT lie that hardest part of this journey remains and I have a feeling will remain the mental battle. The quick 1 second decisions of good choices. Thankfully, they are getting easier to make, but that doesn’t mean I am not weak or that I am perfect.
It mostly means I am committed to a healthier me and until I get where I want to be that has to be consistent. The hard part is the closer I get the easier it feels to say, “Ah…it is okay to…” Fill in the blank with eat bad food or skip said workout. I am not there and I honestly would like to never be there. I don’t want to give up on this and I committed for the lifestyle change, not the way I look in the mirror or the size I fit or to say I have lost 60lbs and so many inches. Those things are nice, but they are material. I need to battle the things that say, “You don’t deserve this and you aren’t worth it.”
- 47.5 Inches lost since January 2015
- 58lbs lost since January 2015
- 210 to 152lbs
- Size XL to Size S
- Size 20 to a Size 6 (and they are getting loose)
Sorry if they are all blurry. I thought it was a mirror thing, but after taking it at gym I realized my phone maybe dirty. I will work on that. Regardless the photos on right are from February and photos on left are from today. The last was just a straight on shot after weights and a run on the treadmill.
My skin is becoming a bigger and bigger issue. My guy and I have talked a lot about it, but I am no where near ready to make permanent decisions about it. I am just trying to feel less self conscious about it. I do wonder sometimes what my body would actually look like without it all and I wonder what my weight would actually be. I can physically lift off and push it to the side. Underneath I have rock hard abs, beautiful biceps and thigh muscles you could bounce a quarter off of. With it I jiggle, I feel a little like I am drowning in a sea I have no hope of getting out of and weighs me down mentally. I am extremely weird about that kind of stuff though with my beliefs. So again the mental battle begins.
I have been so good this week and loving all the food I have been eating. It is all so healthy and fresh and I feel good. That is probably the biggest thing I notice is the moment I eat crap, I feel like crap. So I just don’t. Someone asked me what happens after the 21 days….and I giggled and said it just keeps going considering I started it in March. That is the thing with 21 days…it is NOT a diet. It is a way to eat. It is no different than any other thing out there. The biggest reason I continue to use it is for the portion size. But I can go without the containers. I don’t need them to know what my body needs. I use them because I can and it makes life easier.
I always hold the ultimate decision of what goes into my body. I just try and always be sure it is worthy of the work and effort I have made for the last 9 months. When I celebrate my year anniversary I want to feel like and proclaim I didn’t falter because I made a bad decision. Yes sometimes I eat bad for me things, but it is always very calculated and it isn’t a cheat. It is being human.
And with that…Love keeps winning. It always does!