Off in the ditch somewhere.

We have this metaphor in my classroom. I use metaphors with my freshman because they understand the world a little better in metaphor form. But I describe us all as driving down the road together and sometimes we get distracted by a friend, a thought,  something going on on the side of the road and there are consequences to that and we gotta find our way back to road. And every year at the beginning of the year I find myself off in the ditch.

I don’t know what it is about the start of the school year and me off in ditches, but every year it happens without fail. I look around and wonder if I can find my way back and every year I do in due time. But this year it is bad. I feel the looming pressures of standardized testing, the complete pressure of a completely new family schedule and lifestyle. I am trying to maneuver it all and still have time and a place for myself. It is markedly better because the last two years were filled with a consistent and constant worry about my guy and don’t get me wrong those fears are still there. They are just way more managed.

But what I am realizing is the letting of others who stand on the side of the road and try and convince me their way is my way is getting in my way. I am getting caught up in the other instead of getting caught up in the what truly matters and that is being true to myself and my purpose. I looking off at the side of the road wondering if there is a better way for me. And I am suffering the consequences to that as I warn my students.

My car is in the ditch and I am trying to find my way back onto the road and the only way to do that is to stay true to ME and let love win. You know how I realized that? Yesterday, I went for a quick lunch and went to my beloved Subway. As I went to pay for my lunch the cashier told me it was 1 dollar and twenty some odd cents. I felt confused and said, “No, I ordered a turkey sandwich and drink. She smiles and she said, “Someone wanted you to have a blessing today and wants you to pay that blessing forward.” My heart response was, “Wow, that is so awesome and I WILL!”

I repaid the blessing and paid it forward and am ever grateful for the reminder from the universe that the world is good and that this is my usual season for the beginning of the year and I am grateful for the blessings I have.

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