- I have gained 3lbs
- The last two weeks have been so work and home stressful combined
- I gave myself permission to emotionally eat
- I also gave myself permission to not exercise unless I had the energy to do it
- I didn’t put myself first and I know I should
- I resorted back to some of my old habits
- And finally…I don’t care.
I refuse to beat myself up. Does that mean I didn’t have moments of regret? No. I had quite a few. I also knew exactly what I was doing and was aware of the consequences. The reality was I had massive responsibilities at work outside of my classroom the kind of things the public forgets that teachers do. I found myself longing to just walk into my classroom and just teach. But I also love being there for my students, so I willingly choose to serve my student population outside of classroom. And yes it hit hard and fast the last three weeks. Throw in a nasty virus that hit our house, a sad death in our family and my grad course.
And yes Mommy Rhetoric didn’t make the best choices. But I did try and be really in tune with the physical and mental need for physical activity. Today to jumpstart my personal motivation I did what I always do…I listened to Shaun T.’s “Trust and Believe” podcast where he spoke about being your authentic self. As I walked and listen I really started to think about exactly how far I have come. I found this part of myself the last year that has made me feel honest and true to who I am more than anything other than my guy.
And that is that I need exercise like I need water, food and love. If I constantly stay in tune with that I feel like I am truly being who I am. I would love to tell you I exercised faithfully every single day. I didn’t though. Some days I literally came home and put myself to bed from sheer exhaustion, other days I had a cup of coffee and I ran till I couldn’t anymore. That is me being my authentic self of being so in tune with myself that I recognize the needs of my body and you can’t beat yourself up for that.
But you know what I have been so happy the last three weeks. Happy because I am living in my truth and my passion. That is taking care of my family, being there for my students and fulfilling my passions. But alas the time has come….the calm. Summer is approaching and the focus can now shift back to making me a priority. I started today. I have been struggling with programs for awhile now.
I have running goals. Doing a complete workout program start to finish sometimes makes my running goals fall by the wayside. But I started to think I had seen other hybrid versions of workouts that included running, so I began to think maybe I could combine my more recent love of lifting with my old faithful running. I sat down and created a 30 day Hammer (Sagi from Hammer and Chisel) a Running Hybrid program. I intend to do the 21 Day containers because I know how important nutrition is to lifting. Truthfully, for muscles to do what you want them to do (and look how you want them to look) you gotta eat right. So I will follow the eating plan for “leaning out”.
I am not gonna lie, I am so proud of myself for doing that. That was a huge step in the right direction after the last month or so where I haven’t been too goal oriented. I am starting tomorrow and I am gonna kick some butt. Today I was feeling frumpy and blah. So I did what I do when I feel like that….first I listened to Shaun T. And then I took a shot to do a side by side to remind myself just how far I have come and then it all seemed silly and I moved on. There is tomorrow. I get a reset. RESET hit and hybrid program on. Whoop!