You mean I struggle too.

IMG_2355I started school August 3rd. I started consuming carbs like it was my job August 3rd. I didn’t stop. I hid them in my desk. I hid them in my home. Sometimes I blatantly ate more just because no one saw the first time. I bargained with myself that tomorrow would be better. That I would try harder or it would start next Monday. Three weeks in and I am tired of it.

For me….. WHEN I EAT LIKE CRAP I FEEL LIKE CRAP. Two migraines since school started and my digestive issues knocked on the door again. The truth here is you do what you know. For me stress means carb load. My last year and 8 months of hard work didn’t matter. In fact, I think it mattered even less because the scale didn’t move. I felt like I got a free pass.

But I know how that works. My metabolism is high. That means I can eat and burn *for now*. But that *for now* is short lived. I didn’t exercise the first week. I won’t beat myself up for it. Last week I exercised 5 out of the 7 days. That was even better. Today my eating is in tune. My exercise is in tune. There is no restart next Monday. The restart is now.

It scared me how easily I could just pop back to my old ways. On Thursday of last week I IMG_2370came home tired, had a horrible day and I opened the fridge and there was a pepsi in there. I grabbed it and popped it open and chugged. I haven’t had a pepsi since January 2015. It was too easy and the temptation was natural. Grab it drink it…chug it. I did. Then I felt horrible about myself.

That was all it took. Friday I was at the grocery store and I was back to myself. Eating my low carb, clean diet. I am not playing that game with myself ever again. Exercise is my way to deal with stress. Not pepsi, not veggie straws and not 1000 granola bars. But I guess sometimes I forget or I want to easy way out.

Word to the wise, there is no easy way out. The only easy way out is through and through it I will be going. Thankfully, not too much damage was done except to maybe my body that needs a small detox. Day four into this and I am feeling pretty decent. Plus a few knee pairs of tights help with the motivation. 😉

Proving Less of Me is an ongoing battle, -MR


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