Can we just stop? 

Do you ever think we make things too complicated? Or not complicated enough? Or give people too much credit or not enough? November 1st I turned 40. 4O years on this earth. Many elections. Many disappointments. But what happened before, leading up to and after the election was unlike anything I have ever seen before. 

More than anything I have felt shocked. I even feel dare I say it disappointed. But not for the same reasons as what it seems like the rest of my “social” circle was. The first thing I noticed right away was, “What about me?” And “No one cared about the things that mattered to me.” And I sit baffled. I get putting yourself first, but have we ever asked ourselves if maybe that is the problem? So much me and way too little of us? Of course each individual put their needs and their families needs ahead of their neighbors. 

That isn’t selfish. It is human nature, but human nature demands human decency. We all have to demand that of one another. To me this is where we have issues. Human decency can be defined in so many ways. But for me it resides with love. A love that demands equality, humility and pure and simple kindness. 

I am a “tends to complicate” things kind of person. But the amount of people who I have seen attack people who believe differently than they do is just disgusting. I believe in fighting hard to fight battles, but battling someone on social media or ending a real friendship because of a button in a booth. It becomes quite clear this issue is bigger than that. If you don’t see that again I beg you to pay attention. 

Look around you. Look in the mirror. That is the problem. No one man makes despicable behavior okay and in the same manner we shouldn’t return despicable behavior with despicable behavior. Become the solution. Not the problem. 

Days before the election I became awe struck by the fact that we had a female in the race. I never commented specifically as a rally cry for one side or the other. In fact, this election season I have been so incredibly private with my vote telling absolutely not one soul. I am raising three girls and what I saw was progress. I see that in our many congress women. I noted the pride I have because of that. 

A pride that my daughters won’t have to fight as hard as I have had to fight to be taken seriously. Because the reality is I do have too. Before I was educated I didn’t know anything because I was just a mother or wife. Now I am highly educated and if I push too hard or show myself too much I am $&!)!?. I also have to fight harder to get respect and I don’t get taken as seriously. So yea..pride. It wasn’t an endorsement. In fact, I said specifically it was not. But that one post, my one and only political post this whole political season brought nasty people out. I got defriended and attacked and my motherhood judged. I handled myself just fine. But it proved my point. 

I am not sad or happy about the election mostly because I won’t give that much power to anything. I control my world. I plan to effect change in my own community and no president is going change that no matter who that person is. I also give great reverence to people in power because it is hard. What I did learn is I am raising good kids. Kids with solid and good morals who love first. 

The reality though is that they are girls. One is looking into a highly competitive male dominated science field and before that attending a university that is predominantly male. Yes, her road will be hard. But I know and I am grateful for the women out there who have come before her and just as proud of the men who supported those women. 

That is where change happens ladies in gentlemen. It happens in our homes, our communities and in us. We have to want and demand more of ourselves and our people. That is the type of selfish we need to be. The kind demands things will be better because we don’t stop till they are. 

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