My blog writing has sporadic at best. I am focusing my writing time on working on my book which sounds way more than productive than I actually have been. My writing time since break began has been used to decompress. This fall was tough. I really struggled and was angry. I was angry for various reasons, but at some point I just held out and it got softer. Anger was just the name of my game.
But that was just it….It knocked me off my game. A game that I think I am just recovering. I have gained some weight back. I am not going to lie. Honestly, most of it has been gained since Thanksgiving because I needed the mental break from where I was at with my Less of Me phase. Somewhere less of me became about the way I looked and less about the way I felt. I lost focus and withheld too much. If I had to guess that was probably about June/July. Then I became angry because I felt like the weight loss wasn’t fair. But this post isn’t about that.
Let’s go back to January of this year and see where I was at?
My first fitaversary! Is it sad that I don’t see myself like that anymore? I need to. But I am doing the program I was doing then and hoping the weight lifting will curve me out in the right places. I really only weigh a few more pounds now than I did then.
To give a voice to the voiceless and be the ear they so desperately need. But I get lost in my own self, my own agenda. I wish was better, but alas I am not. So I sit here and I think about it and what I can change for next time.
I try to not share too much information about my post tubal ligation syndrome. Something I have been battling since the moment I had the original surgery. In March, I had surgery to try and clean up the mess that was left from my tubal ligation. It worked till July. Things have been a mess since then. On December 22nd I signed consent papers for surgery this June to fix all of this finally once and for all. I signed it then to insure if I want it done before June that I can. But the goal is June because of the 6-8 weeks of recovery that would require me to not work.
That means I have 6 months to get to the weight I want and mentally, physically prepared to have this surgery and be done with this nightmare of a syndrome I have been left with. I am grateful for my supportive husband and my doctor who has had my back the whole time and always took me seriously. Thankfully, most of the side effects are things you can live with. They just make things not the way you want them.
All I know is I got to get back to this MR —> I don’t want to be your inspiration
God, I love this man! I don’t love him for the romance of our relationship. I love him for the hardships that we endure. I love him because I know he is there for me and he can always make me laugh. I am one lucky lady.
We went on our 2nd family vacation to the beach! It was so fun. We are currently planning # 3.
A post about what I was put here on this earth to do. Be a momma to my sweet baby girls.
The one where I proclaimed we should live our lives as an act of criticism.
Public schools and teachers are NOT the problem. The narrative is and hell ya I am defensive.
We have to stop saying, “It will be okay” because the reality is sometimes it is NOT.
I still believe…..“We have to do better.”
This year wasn’t my favorite and it wasn’t my worst. It was a year of maintaining. It was a year of status quo. I don’t really do status quo. I hate to feel stalled out. I am working on that though. I am stalled out on more than one front. But my life is beautiful. This life is beautiful. My girls are my life. My guy is my life. I love this life.
Happy New Year Dear Readers, MR