In all interest of honesty (given my post yesterday) the recovery has been good, but not fun. The pain has been the worse pain I have experienced. However, it has been short lived other than the ways in which my body likes to remind me I just had surgery. So shocks of pain here and there which is completely normal in the healing process. That also shows me just how much pain I was in with the PTLS. It was a lot. Most of this post is gonna be about the tough stuff I am dealing with. Next week I will focus on the positive because there is soooooo much!
I seem to have two really good days and one that kicks me in the butt. On those kick butt days I rarely get out of bed and if I do it is just to our recliner. I struggle to move and feel like I have been someone’s punching bag. Still just walking purposefully about 3 miles a day. I sat purposefully because it is usually more in my house or yard or if I venture out. But my intentional for exercise walks where I am working on increasing heart rate and endurance. I have tried to increase it, but I won’t lie the feeling I get when I push it let me know I need to calm down. Maybe this week? I did increase the speed yesterday and shaved off roughly two minutes and 30 seconds off my mile. Sadly, for me it still feels too slow.
Thankfully, the hot flashes have really simmered down. However, the umm….feistiness not so much. You know how if someone irritates you and you think a nasty comment in your head….well oops it comes out. I am not sure if it is new thing or if it passing. It is not really my personality so we shall see. My tolerance for crap is really low. I also tend to cut through the crap pretty quickly too. Meaning my BS meter is super sensitive.
Sleeping is all over the place. I get super tired at 8:30 and then I get insomnia and then my body alarm still gets me up at 4:30-5. So some days I sleep better than ever. My guy is back in bed with me for the most part, which actually helped quite a bit because it felt more normal I think. We both still worry about him bumping into me because he moves all over. When he moves now though he started this thing where he just grabs my hand. I am not sure he even realizes he does it, but I think that is his groggy way to protect me and remind himself to not move much. A little weird when I am dead asleep, but I have gotten used to it.
The biggest negative is and continues to be sitting still. I just had such a different picture of my recovery. I envisioned feeling like I needed to lay down and rest and I do sometimes. But most of the time I feel pretty normal. The fatigue is terrible though. I call it stupid tired. The kind you have when you have all nighters or your babies first come home. No good decisions are made, you feel like you have blinders on your eyes and you have a constant headache. It does get better every week, but my family Dr. warned me it can sometimes happen for up to a year. But again the advise given…you are healthy so it should be less severe. But at this point it happens every day still maybe just different intensities.
The last and final complaint is the bloating. I don’t even know where it comes from. Sometimes it is obvious like I did too much. I watch my steps like a hawk so as to not over do it. I don’t want any sort of set back. But sometimes I feel like I did when I was pregnant and my organs were squished. This past week my kiddo had her 16th birthday party. It is a tradition in my family to do it up big, so I rented a hotel room for her and her friends and bought all the junk food, decorated it and set them up with our nintendo switch, they had a roku and subway and cupcakes. My # 2 and I stayed in the room next to them. Wanna see what happened…see below!
I grew a fourth month pregnant belly. I didn’t do much this day at all. My # 2 did all the heavy lifting and I purposefully didn’t walk this day assuming I would walk more than normal, but I didn’t even walk much and my steps were way down this day. Thankfully, this has only happened about 4-5 times and it doesn’t hurt other than hoping my clothes can accommodate. (BTW: This is me being super real…you all know how hard I have worked on losing weight and I know subconsciously this isn’t extra weight…but still.) I am told this can also happen for up to a year as your organs and body adjust.
No major happenings this past week as far as issues. I am still healing from and working on healing from my bleeding ulcer. I tried to pull myself off my prescription meds for it because I hate meds generally. My stomach wasn’t ready. I am thinking I need to add a better probiotic into the mix to help heal my gut. I just cannot do any sort of meds without it messing my stomach up. I am cleaning up my diet massively this week hoping to help. No dairy at all (lactose intolerant here) and switching it up a bit to heal I hope.
But you know me…I hate constantly focusing on the negative because there is ALWAYS good. The good is how great I have been feeling. As I said I will go into way more detail next week after I see my doc this Friday. This has been a great lesson for me that I don’t have to DO everything. Sometimes I try and this has been a great lesson in sitting back and enjoying the peace and calm that I rarely get.
Photos from this week
How I prepare for my walks…Sitting…Counterproductive I know But Recovery life
Obsessed with this song lately
This was a cool moment cause I stopped thinking about what I am not able to do and focused on how darn far I have come. Me three years ago would have killed to be where I am.
Baby Girl # 1’s party and decor
Meal planning for this week with a visit from two special friends from my # 3 which she gave me because they are my fav.
Trying visual syllabai this year. I can’t in my dual credit classes, but in my 9-12 classes I can and I love it. I purchased it for super cheap on Teachers Pay Teachers. If you haven’t heard of this site you need to visit. I love it. It is all materials that teachers create and the money goes straight to the teacher for a nominal fee. I love supporting other teachers this way and usually their ideas help me to improve my own ideas. It is a great place.
Week # 4 Recovery Stats
- Loss 2 lbs
- Streaming: Trying to get into Outlander. I tried it a year or so ago and struggled but on the recommendation from a friend I am trying again and this time I am liking it much more.
- Podcasts: Stuff Your Mom Never Told You – I really, really like this show and it focuses on women’s issue in particular
- Music: Childish Gambino and a slight (gigantic) obsession with Halsey; I also have been flirting with Lana Del Rey’s new album. It is growing on me. I wanted to be in love with it, not yet. It could be a mood thing. For me Lana is a mood thing. She is very chilling and haunting in her music, so I gotta want that. Right now I am really digging music that makes me want to move or lifts my spirits. Halsey has always been everything to me because I just love the way her voice sounds.
- Youtube: I have been a Miranda Sings fan forever, but when she split from her hubby (JoshuaDTV) almost a year ago I found him. He has basically started his life over and has been struggling with depression since and I have enjoyed his honesty and candor in dealing with it. I don’t really get into his typical posts, but I like how honest he is with what he has and is going through.
- Walking: Still three miles
- Favorite things: Planning for my new group of kids this year and finishing up this master’s class I am in now. It will be my last one in Com for now.
Onto great things this week -MR