Reading over my goals for 2017 (January 2017 Post) from last year and I find my goals for this year are pretty similar. I also find that some goals I flat out ignored and probably would have been more meaningful if I did more than write them in my blog and forget them…so new goal…physically write them down and look at them often.
And my girls and why I never really tell their stories (February 2017 Post) on my blog or social media anymore. It feels weird…it really does. I mostly talk about myself, my job and my fitness which probably makes me seem so self absorbed. I am not and honestly those sides to myself are probably only like 30% of me. The rest are stories I don’t want to share because they are their stories and they didn’t choose to live their lives so publicly. I did. My guy hates all social medias. So it is teacher me, fitness me and me me that you get. Sorry Not Sorry.
Or the post about my guy and this boring, every day moment that makes marriage feel magical (March 2017 Post).
My heart wanted to burst. The last three months of each of us coming and going and quick kisses in the hall or before one of us falls asleep for the night. The boring, routine married life I dreamed of as a child. The mundane of my happiness in my heart swells my heart. I am grateful for him, for that moment because this is my life. I have dreamed of this life my whole life.
So many times we think love looks like the movies and the breathless meetings and protests of undying love that we would die for. I never wanted or needed that. I needed that stoic, strong man who showed up. The one who loves unconditionally, who stands watch over the world and me. Someone to protect me and my world and in that moment that is what I saw.
After this year in review I am finding one thing incredibly disappointing…I am not writing enough. When I check out the month of April 2017 post and all I have is one and it is about fitness I get sad. There is so much more here to me than this. I started writing a book last year and then some massive life happenings kinda derailed my writing life. I am working on that post now. I will write more in 2018.
In May 2017 I said something that as I read now scares the crud outta me. I said and I quote:
The second and likely most impactful to me as a professional and personally was feeling my own calling and purpose shift and change. The world has been trying to tell me in awhile, but I ignored it or just wasn’t picking up on it. I am not even sure I have entirely figured it out. But I am getting there slowly. It isn’t a story I am ready to tell or even have put all together. But I have found a voice I didn’t know I had. Now I just need to articulate it. My dream is bigger than I could ever imagine and it scares me. But I trust that signs I am seeing are God, or the wider universe nudging me or maybe even kicking me in that direction.
I do not remember writing this as I contemplated the end of the school year last May. I do not remember what I was even talking about here or where I was headed with this thought. The weird thing is since then I have taken some scary but brave steps since then. So clearly I took the universe’s nudge and made some moves. Nothing at all that I am willing to share, but it is happening. What I am proud of is my ability to note my own feelings and needs to address those feelings. I am always in tune to myself in ways I never realize at the time. Oh and this was the month I became a Youtuber. Sadly, I need more time to do it. I will also work on this more in 2018.
One of my more emotional posts as a teacher (June 2017 Post). Suicide has touched my life more times than I can to acknowledge in the last 8 years as a teacher. The stories are too numerous and too personal to share. But specifically, this month another story and more heartbreaks and I was sick and tired of feeling helpless, so I tried to decide how to make more of an impact. I became an advocate for American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I felt like I took some of the power back in the stories that made me feel so powerless. It is all done through my computer. You could become one, too.
And most of July 2017 was about recovery and renewal and no real post stands out to me as more important than another. I did learn the importance of taking care of yourself and listening to your body. The surgery was the most important thing I could have done for myself and my health. As a caregiver to my husband who has a chronic issues with his health, a mom, and a teacher it is SOOOOO easy to put myself dead last in the care department. But after years that caught up with me and signing the papers for my surgery was the absolute best decision I could have made after years of issues and pain that were unnecessary.
I kinda always knew that my family motivated me, but I never realized how much until August of 2017. I make them a promise and it happens. End of story. Nothing will change that. Nothing has.
The one post (September 2017 Post) where I found Keto and its amazing benefits. I love Keto and I love 21 Day Fix portion containers. But what I really love about September is I once again took my health back. I gained some weight over the previous month or two. But guess what I took that all back in September and here we are looking January 2018 straight in the eye and nothing has changed. I am still working hard and eating healthy. Some people say Keto is a fad and maybe it is. But I learned so much science behind what we eat and how it effects our bodies. For me that is a win; not to mention look at the weight drop on the right (what…what?!).
Writing Challenge October 2017 where I failed and yes I need to write more, but challenges are so hard for me because I am busy. Everyone is busy I know. What I mean by I am busy is that every single day I am taking care of four other people, my students and myself so my day today can sometimes be stupid, easy predictable and other days it is all chaos and survival. So goal again for 2018….MORE WRITING!!!
And I just love everything about the month of November. I accomplished a week of gratefulness, an outfit of the day challenge that helped bring my teacher clothing game to the next level. I do laugh though because I made one whole week of wearing heels every single day and then I spent the next two weeks letting my feet recover. I want to be a heel wearer so bad, but dang they hurt your feet so much when you stand on your feet all day long.
And per usual I was super sentimental most of December. I gave tribute to my best friend most of my life. The one on the other end of the line. My surgery, my mammogram, my health and the holiday all connected me to mom. This was and has been so meaningful to me. Oh and less of me is still a thing and I honestly don’t think it will go anywhere in 2018 if I had to make a guess.
Thank you 2017 for the lessons. Most of them still too new and raw for me to cover here. Most of them personal and mostly for me. But life…oh life is bigger (Lyrics from Losing My Religion REM).
Best – MR