My children have been on my heart and mind a whole lot the last 48 to 72 hours. This isn’t a proclamation that they always are not but more of me giving space in writing to something that has been very much taking shape in my thoughts. I wonder do I write it in letter format or do I just type my heart and guts on a page.
The older my kiddos get the more I feel the world knocking on our door. The world that can sometimes be unbearably cruel. The people in it who may not always have the best intentions with them. The people who look like friends but often are foes. Or the biggest monster still is the unknown ones. The unforeseen circumstances. The life changing ones. The ones that in the matter of minutes change the very essence of who you are. FOREVER.
So dear daughters, dear children of party of five and dear strong independent women I hope I am raising you to be,
As much as I want to talk you down from those things above or make you feel better when the world or the people are in it are unkind I don’t feel like that is very productive. There will always be someone who is willing to be mean. There will always be unforeseen circumstances. There will always be cruelty that comes your way that is undeserved.
What I would like you to do is to take a step back….take a deep breath…count to 10 and recognize the world’s reactions aren’t in your control or power. You cannot make a friend be kind to you. You cannot stop that accident from happening. You cannot predict the unthinkable. They are not in your control.
What is in your control is how you, in that moment, move. Notice I didn’t say move forward and I didn’t because sometimes that isn’t how it goes. Sometimes we stay stuck and stunned or even move back. But you choose. Your reaction is your choice.
And as hard as it is to imagine or even fathom I would like you to again start from the top…take a step back, take a breath and count to 10 and realize your next move says so much about who you are in the world. It is your perspective. It is your choice. I encourage you to be grateful for the moment. Grateful in the midst of is a beautiful thing.
If you find gratefulness you keep your power. If you find gratefulness you are the living embodiment of beauty. No the cruel world isn’t beauty, but finding gratefulness in the midst of it definitely is. And if your reaction isn’t always beautiful, just know that is okay. But then start from the top and repeat as needed. Take a step back, Take a deep breath, count to 10 and start over.
Sometimes people take your gratefulness as not being realistic and I encourage you to repeat the above steps and move the heck on when that situation arises. They have their choice and you have yours. What I think happens is those world moments that smack you in the face give you glimpses (or think of them as chances) to shape who you are and what you put out into the world. The cruel world, the unkindness of others, the unforeseen those are all other people’s problems, issues and personalities showing through and though they may be directed at you…they have absolutely nothing to do with you. So don’t repeat or replay what just smacked you in the face. Find gratefulness = finding beauty.
So again I say….STOP…Take a step back, Take a deep breath, count to 10 and start over.
And yes the world can sometimes really suck. I am 41 and yep I have seen some major suckage in the world and when I look back at the moments I was strongest and proudest of, they were when I was grateful in the midst of. Sure bad things happen and I am not asking you to ignore it. We have to acknowledge them, but we cannot give ourselves over to them.
Acknowledge it, but do NOT and I repeat do NOT give over your power. Your power is in your attitude, your response and how you proceed in the moments, hours and years following. So keep your power, own your perspective and know that that moment is a chance to decide who you want to be. Do you want to be the positive or do you want to maintain the cycle of negative.
Notice I didn’t ask it as a question because I already gave you the answer.
Take a step back, Take a deep breath, count to 10 and start over and find gratefulness in the midst of… – MR (Your Momma)